Friday, February 18, 2011

Firechillis

The stout warrior-goblin looked wide-eyed over the platform that bore him and his female counterpart to the world disk. Never before did Scuttlefish believe he would be ascending to such literal heights.

“Whatzn all da hellz dosz one perzon wantz with, fifdy of deze pepperz?” Says Janisgoblin from behind Scuttlefish. Her handsome goblinoid features being often too much for Scuttlefish to behold for too long- he often only just gawks at the swell of her chest and the cut of her mail. Forever exasperated, Janisgoblin mauls Scuttlefish with the flat of her blade making a loud and familiar crack- bringing him back to reality.

“I dunnow. Jan..” He bumbles about his words at her affections, but before he could recover his meager wits, the third member of this delivery crew speaks up; Drachen, an olive skinned, red-robed man with a foreign dialect.

“If you knew our employer as I do, you would not ask such questions.” With a wry smile, Drachen continues. “Just be hopeful he does not eat you after the job is complete. Now stop bumbling around like a couple of…” (He searches for a race lower than a goblin) “dretches.”

“Eatz us?” They say in unison, exchanging worried glances. “What? Hez not goingz to eatz da peppers?” They ask rhetorically. With the ocean surface fast receding beneath them, they look upward anxious to be back to the Driftdowns and more familiar surroundings.

Scuttlefish and Janisgoblin were in fact offered and paid a small sum of coin to provide Drachen escort to the Upside- who’s only declared cargo was fifty rare purple chilli peppers to be delivered to a powerful alchemist. The two eagerly accepted. Just a chance to see the upside was enough for these self proclaimed goblin mercenaries and that just two days ago they were running for their lives from the Sevens.

From above, the rhythmic sound of drums, rattling of chains and the squeak of many pulleys uneased them, the Upside was fast approaching now and soon they would be walking among the Castles in the Sky.

When they arrived, the Upside defied any fitting description the simple goblins could conjure up. They were in awe.

“Thank you for your speed Drachen, there has been a change of plans and I have to work quickly.” Snapped out of their awe, the goblins beheld the new speaker. From the shadows, taking possession of the peppers was a horribly acid-burned red half-dragon! “I will need more. Double the amount. Can we arrange another shipment for next week?”

Firechillis are the purple peppers of the red leaved firebush. Extremely hot to the palate, the peppers provide little sustenance. Eaten in quantities, or on an empty stomach, they can cause severe stomach and intestinal pain. However, some hardy adventurers chop up a few firechillis into plain cooking, or to add a spicy flavor to that pasty gruel that passes as magically- created food.

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