Friday, November 29, 2013

Goblin's Have Green Thumbs

It was early in Stormhaven. The endless sounds of breakers from the ocean and the salty air had a heightened feeling- like the day was tensed in anticipation of a clenched fist. One by one the tallest of the Upside’s towers and minarets were ignited with morning light as the sun crested the sea. Light spilled down like candle wax until the entire World-disk was alight with a new day and new opportunities.

Using the gold they earned from their last assignment, the goblins Janisgoblin and Scuttlefish purchased a horse to expand their earnings potential. Of course the foolish Scuttlefish did not think of this, for Scuttlefish his baser needs usually came first, he had hoped the horse was dinner if not entertainment.

The destrier was a retired warhorse nearly seventeen hands tall and its name was Ogre. The horse was mostly ashen gray with a black mane and tail to match; and it carried an irregular fan-shaped marking on is left flank in the shape of a certain Evening Isle. When Ogre’s former owner said something about the curious mark both goblins looked confused. What was an island?
 
Neither goblin could ride the large warhorse with any expertise but both would say they could handle animals; however even the sum of their skills was not enough to attach a simple cart to the old but proud Ogre.

“It doz not want to do it. Ezery time Iz goz to fix the rainz it kiks me!” Scuttlefish lamented to Janisgoblin
who looked down sourly at her counterpart. Standing in the cart she regarded him sternly. Her intense demeanor could usually ‘motivate’ Scuttlefish into some worthwhile action, but Ogre was proving too much for him. She let out an exasperated sigh.

“If we miss this delivery it will be your fault!” She promised. “This is a big order and we need the cart to make the delivery unless you want to carry all these sacks to the Liquor Commission yourself.” She said in perfect common all the while taking on a woman’s sexy-time tone. “These are the last of the grains before more can be had.” As far as she was told. 
 
Scuttlefish did not hear her words however; he was transfixed by the goblin woman. Breaking his stupid fascination Ogre kicked Scuttlefish again this time sending him flying into the path of an approaching mob on course to the Cinder Block.

A spell or incendiary went off startling Ogre causing him to rear and flee pulling a cart that held on desperately for purchase. Janisgoblin fell out of her seat and onto the few sacks of grain they could muster that morning; she too held desperately for purchase.

Scuttlefish was getting his ass handed to him by the angry mob who had decided to take their wrath out on him. 2x4’s and axe handles came down on his head repeatedly, he was still able to hear the fading cries of help from Janis. He somehow got free of the mob and followed the trail of upset people and upside fixtures to where Ogre had taken off to. 

Nearing the edge of the World-disk Scuttlefish’s heart sank as his panic showed him visions of Ogre pullng the cart with Janis falling to their death over the edge. 

"Son of a bitch," he began to weep. But before he could descend into hysterics Scuttlefish heard weak confused sounds over what he took for the edge; on the other side of a small rise he found they did not fall to their deaths as he feared.

About fifty feet from the rise (and the edge of the world disk) Ogre stood casually among the remains of the cart, it clung to him like tattered barding. Broken boards and busted wheels were all that remained of the cart; near by was Janisgoblin was just now standing a small cut colored her shoulder in red from one of the many rocks littering the ground. 
Janisgoblin stood, taking it all in; the broken cart, Ogre, the ramp on which Scuttlefish stood and the sacks of grain. Each sack tore open when the cart crashed down after coming up over the rise, Ogre of course had jumped the ramp but the grain intended for the Liquor Commission now spread in low heaps over the quarter acre of land.


Janisgoblin smiled at their good fortune. “Hey ‘Fish do you know how to tend a garden?”

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